To My Girl

Maddie Mae.

My baby girl- Can I call you that anymore?

I’m hoping for forever…

Maybe just a little longer?

Today you’re nine.

You’ve been mine almost a decade.

The most important years of my life. Maybe the only ones that ever really mattered.

It wasn’t all easy- getting you.

I remember the journey like it was yesterday- If I close my eyes, I’m right back there- I can feel the short prick of each syringe; the cool air in each doctor’s office; the glare of hospital lights; the quick butterflies that filled me at each ultra sound…

all

leading

up to

you.

But then there was you.

Like you were meant to be all along.

To say you were worth it doesn’t do you justice.

There must be a bigger phrase-

Because being your mom has been the greatest honor of my life.

Loving you has brought me a joy I never thought possible.

It’s changed me in the most profound ways-

it’s brought peace and levity.

it’s formed strength and resilience.

it’s spawned laughter and tears.

it’s forced me to make hard decisions- to protect you at all costs.

You see, as you’ve grown, I’ve grown along side you-

motherhood gently shifting me into who I was meant to be all along.

Each new, beautiful chapter bringing its new hurdles, but also infinite opportunities. So many possibilities.

There will be more changes, more challenges; I’m sure of it- that is life.

But you’ve shown me there’s nothing we can’t handle.

We will face them together-

Side by side.

Holding your hand- as yours continues to grow. A little every day. Knowing that one day I’ll have to let it go.

But not yet.

Not today.

Today, I simply promise not to hold on too tight when it’s time.

Happy Birthday, baby girl.

Thank you for being mine.

I Love you-

No matter what.

To the moon and back.

Until the numbers end.