Why We Moved Down South

By far the most frequently asked question I get these days is, “Why the move to South Carolina?”

It’s taken me a while to sit down and put our story into words- the last several months depleting me of the energy and emotional bandwidth to put such a huge decision into a post.

But we’re unpacked. We’re settled. We have a routine and the few fears I did have are now assuaged. We feel truly at home.

And I’ve had some time to reflect on the last seven months.

So here it is:

The conversation about moving down south started during our quarantine in California. It was the first time we ever said the words out loud; but really, this decision was in the works for a long time.

When COVID hit, our house was already on the market.

This was a decision that had already taken much soul searching-

We moved in to that home before we were engaged. We had our wedding after party there. We brought our children home from the hospital there. We experienced loss and learning and tears and so much laughter there. And it will forever hold a special place in our hearts.

But we had outgrown the home physically- now a family of four with two dogs in tow- and we had outgrown the neighborhood in many ways, too. And we wanted more- for us and our children.

So, yes, the decision to leave that home was difficult; but it was absolutely the right one. And a move, of some kind at least, was already in motion.

So we listed. And had began a search throughout Fairfield county for a new home.

Being Greenwich natives didn’t necessarily tether us to the zip code even in those early searches. We were open to an out of town move from the start. And after a few weeks of driving around we had agreed on a move as north as Westport- close enough for Phil’s daily commute to New York City, but far enough to be the change of scenery that we so needed.

And then COVID happened.

And, like so many of us, it changed the very fiber of our daily lives. And with that, it also changed so many of our priorities. For us, the lightbulb went off when rumors swirled that our parks and beaches would close down. It was early in the pandemic, but the only thing that kept us sane was being outside- letting the kids run around, taking mind-clearing walks, breathing the fresh air and getting Vitamin D. The reality of what our life could look and feel like being confined to our small backyard in the Connecticut cold was stifling and scary. We felt the anxiety of the unknown; but Maddie started to feel it too, and soon started having nightmares about “The Virus.” So when Phil received word he was furloughed, we decided to leave.

The next day we headed to California to be with my mom who was self-quarantined alone- for our emotional and physical well beings; for reasons that are both important and personal. It was a decision that was met with some criticisms- a few of them public; but we broke no rules or laws or mandates. And it was what was best for our family.

Once in California we felt an instant shift. The restaurants and shops were closed, just like back home. But we were able to go outside; to feel normal in a world where all normalcy had been stripped away. We spent more time in nature then we ever had in our lives. We breathed in the salt air and exhaled fears in a way I couldn’t have imagined. And we bonded as a family- with my mom and siblings, too- and it made my heart so happy. And even though so much craziness and uncertainty was happening in the world outside, being home with our loved ones with sunshine and space both comforted and healed us in some small ways. And I wanted to bottle that feeling up and never let it go.

And so we talked. About where we really wanted to be once our house sold.

Coincidentally, my mother’s house was on the market, too. She had always planned on moving out of California; somewhere closer to us. So we sat down one night and started looking on Zillow, asking ourselves, “Where do we want to be if this happens again? If the Zombie Apocalypse comes, where do we want to live?” In those first searches I wasn’t sure where we would end up, but I knew where we didn’t want to be; and that was back east.

Phil had always talked about retiring in South Carolina. It was a soundbite I would hear from him from time to time but never really put too much thought into. But if there’s one good thing that has come from the hellscape that is 2020, it’s that it has taught us that life and time and happiness are too precious to waste.

So we started to take a serious look at his dream destination. And a few simple Google searches brought us to our town in Charleston.

It had everything we were looking for: A slower pace. A more desirable climate. A more affordable cost of living. A seemingly simpler, sweeter landscape for our daughters to grow up in.

We researched and talked to friends that had made the move, and were quickly sold. We left California knowing that by the end of the summer our goal was to all be together again down south.

It was a whirlwind of a few months- our Connecticut house sold a few month later and a few weeks after that, we were in our new home.

And while the logistics of moving across states during a pandemic have put us through the ringer, we are so happy to have done it.

We live in a sweet neighborhood with front porches and friendly faces. Maddie goes to school in a golf cart; and when she’s done, she plays with her friends at a local playground, practices her golf swing with her dad and goes on adventures to the crab docks. We have lunches and dinners with my mother and grandmother and sister multiple times a week. We are outside most of the time. Our kids are happy; and there’s some comfort in knowing that we now live in a part of the country that is substantially more affordable than the one we came from.

So while this year hasn’t been ideal- it’s beat us up and tested us in ways I had never imagined- it has also given us the motivation to take a huge leap of faith; it gave us an opportunity to pivot, and to stop going over the what if’s and all the reasons not to pursue our dreams. It reminded us that life is short and precious and amazingly unpredictable; and that we are only in control of what we can control. But that we do have choices.

It shined a bright light on the people and places and things that are truly important. And it has given us permission to design our life accordingly.

For us, this means being down here. In this new, beautiful landscape. Writing our next chapter.

And I can’t wait to share it with you.