35 Things in 35 Years
Tomorrow morning I’ll be 3-5.
In terms of birthdays, it’s not a particularly monumental one. It’s not a new decade for me; I don’t get any new privileges or accolades. But it’s a birthday I feel super comfortable with; and am happy to welcome.
I’m now officially in my mid-30’s; which in many ways has been my favorite chapter yet.
I now have six years of marriage under my belt. Two beautiful girls. A little business I started almost five years ago. And thirty-five years of relationships, laughter, tears, successes and challenges.
I don’t have it all figured out; far from it. But with every year of my thirties I’m becoming more and more comfortable in my own skin; with who I am and who I’m working to become.
And I’ve learned a few lessons- some easy, some not so much- along the way.
And I’m so, so grateful for each and every one of them.
Here are 35 things I’ve learned in my 35 years
Most of the things you were wildly insecure about in your adolescence will some day become some of your best qualities.
Every grueling mile of a New England winter is worth an inch of a New England fall.
If you want an honest opinion, ask a four year old.
You shouldn’t buy pets online when you’re hungover. 50% of the time you end up with the best bulldog ever. 50% of the time you end up with an uptight Persian cat that will pee on all your belongings because she’s too beautiful to have a good personality.
Things will not always go as planned, and that’s OK. The silver lining is there- sometimes it’s easier to see than others. But it’s there just the same.
As the great Judge Judith Sheindlin once said, “If it doesn’t make sense, it’s usually not true.”
When taking influencer-type pictures, just look right. I don’t know what’s over there, but look that way- happily, pensively, curiously, longingly; whatever suits your fancy.
There will be parts of motherhood that you don’t like; but that doesn’t mean you don’t love motherhood. And those dislikes will be far outweighed by the parts you’re hopelessly in love with.
Your children won’t care about the size of your jeans, and you probably shouldn’t either.
To cook the perfect hard boiled egg place eggs in water; bring to a boil and boil for six minutes. Turn off the stove and let sit on heat for several minutes. Easiest peel ever.
Most people you’ll meet will be mostly good; and will try their best most of the time. And some people are just assholes.
Some of the best things in life aren’t particularly easy- marriage, pregnancy, motherhood. But they are absolutely the most worthwhile.
Your parents are people, just like you. They aren’t perfect; they are flawed; they’re trying their best just like all of us. So be kind to them.
Martinis are like breasts- one isn’t enough and three is too many.
Happiness is a choice we can make every day- to not dwell on the negative, but to celebrate the positive. Some days it’s a harder choice than others, but it’s always worth it.
Magnolia cupcakes are hands down the best. Name a better frosting. I’ll wait.
Use SPF. Every day.
The women of Bravo are really doing the Lord’s work; and we should all give them the respect they deserve.
You will mess up. But saying I’m sorry, and truly meaning it, goes a long way.
Always, always, trust your gut.
Despite what your mother told you, you should absolutely shave above your knee.
Don’t trust people that aren’t nice to your kids.
Bangs are not a good look if you’re a day over “this many”.
You can function on a lot less sleep than you think; but never underestimate the power of a good night’s rest.
Fast food is delicious. There, I said it.
You’ll never regret holding your babies that five extra minutes {or hour}.
When feeling swollen, it is best to remove your rings before bedtime; particularly during the summer. Lest you end up in the ER getting them surgically removed.
It is wise to choose names for your children that sound pretty when screaming them at the top of your lungs in public.
You can’t control other people’s behavior; but you can control how you respond to it.
Get the epidural.
Absolutely nothing on the east coast will compare to the chips and guacamole and margaritas on the west coast.
Try not to worry about what other people are thinking about you. Most of the time, they aren’t.
You will spend your whole life imagining how much you’ll love your children. And, once they arrive, you’ll realize just how futile that exercise was- that love was the wrong word; that you couldn’t have possibly imagined how much you would feel for them; that to say you love them doesn’t do this feeling justice. Not even close.
Marry your best friend- the one you want next to you during the Zombie Apocalypse. The apocalypse likely won’t happen, but life will; and you’ll need that guy by your side.
Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts we have to give; difficult as it may be at times. And it can lead to some unexpectedly beautiful things.
photos by Julia Dags