Dear Lila Lee.

You, my love, turn 18 months old tomorrow. How? Since entering motherhood some five years ago I’ve become all too familiar with the fact that time is a thief. But this past year she’s been especially artful in her craft- the start of the pandemic feeling both like yesterday and a lifetime away; creating a cruel time warp that still has us reeling.

Just shy of two years ago, I became a mom. It was the greatest day of my life, for sure. And it changed me to my very core.

Some changes were temporary, others more permanent; some physical, many emotional. All of them for the better.

And over the past two years, I've found myself doing, saying, and feeling things I would have never thought I would do, say, or feel before. But if there's one thing I've learned about motherhood, it's to expect the unexpected, and embrace it.

Schedule

If you follow along here, you know that infertility is something I struggled with before finally conceiving our daughter through IVF in 2014. It's a topic that is such a large part of my story, and continues to be something we grapple with as we strive to complete our family. After much soul-searching, we took the leap to try for another baby last fall. 

Schedule

People said a lot of strange things to me during that year struggling to conceive; most of which I chalked up to the the fact that most people just didn't know what to say. I've been that person, too, at times- one really wanting to comfort or encourage, but at a loss as to how to do so.

In that year most people cheered us on; many asked questions; others said nothing at all. But all of them cried happy tears when they heard our good news. So I believe all of it came from a good place.

If I've learned anything about motherhood in the last year it's that just when you start to get comfortable it will throw you a curveball that will set you right in your place.

I caught one of those curveballs in the early months when my little one first tried rolling over during a routine diaper change. That day I quickly learned that the changing table was no longer a safe place, and, from that moment on, would forever required the upmost attention {and very quick hands}.

Yesterday was one of those learning days.