Mother’s Day is almost here. This year being my first as a mom.

Up until now, I ascribed to the notion that this day was just another Hallmark Holiday. A day for us to send flowers, buy a nice card, or maybe a gift certificate to the spa.

But I now know that its so much more than that- more than macaroni art from a Kindergartener or a piece of jewelry from Tiffany’s.

When I first had my Madeline Mae, I was told the same adage over and over:

The days are long but the years are short.

What? I didn’t get it at first; but now that ten months have passed in the blink of an eye, I do.

Days are long: They are tired. They are caffeine-fueled. They are spit-up filled. They are sometimes showerless. They are comprised of missteps and learning opportunities. And they are exhausting. But, boy, do they go by fast.

I’ve gone back and forth as to what I will ask for this Mother’s Day- fantasizing about my very first one in the early morning haze of motherhood:

On sleep-deprived days, I decide I will ask for coffee- Nespresso pods by the caseload.

On bloated days, I decide I will ask for sessions with a personal trainer or pilates instructor, or extra mommy hours at the gym.

On rained-in days, I decide I will ask for an extra girls night out.

On the very challenging days, I will ask for a day at a hotel. Alone. With room service and Netflix. All. To. Myself.

But on most days, what I really want for Mother’s Day, is to just be with my kid. Because I fought hard for this job; and most days are abundantly happy. Most days are filled with joy and love and so much learning- for me, and my daughter. They are filled with incredible firsts; and giggles and light. And every day- each one of them- is filled with love, and gratitude that I get to be her mom.

I want her to fall asleep in my tired arms. Because I’ve finally landed my dream job; and like most jobs- even dream ones- it’s hard some days.

So for this first Mother’s Day- the one I can really cash in on- I want her to need me to make her breakfast, and to crawl on the floor with her so she doesn’t hurt herself as she tries to walk- as she grows before my very eyes. I want to take her for a stroll at the beach, with my husband in tow. I want to carry her up the stairs to get her ready for bed. I want to give her a bubble-filled bath, complete with rubber duckies. I want to give her a nighttime bottle, and I want her to fall asleep in my tired arms. Because I’ve finally landed my dream job; and like most jobs- even dream ones- it’s hard some days.

But most days? Most days, its perfection. And my boss is pretty cute. But she won’t always need me in this way. So for this Mother’s Day, I just want to be her mom.

Because the days are long, but the years are short, and I just want to soak it all in.